Written by: Ian Kaner, Temple Israel President
This week, Jews observe Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year. We spend it reflecting on how we have treated others, where we have fallen short and what we can do differently.
At the heart of that work is Teshuvah. The word is often translated as repentance, but it also means return. We try to return to our values, to one another and to the people we hope to be.
We can all see how quickly the world pushes us to choose sides. Once we do, it becomes easy to defend everything said by the people on our side and dismiss everyone else. We stop asking questions. We stop hearing what matters to the person across from us. Without that understanding, how can we hope to find a way forward together?
As president of Temple Israel, I see some of the hardest truths reach far beyond our local community. The need to feel safe is real. So is the suffering of all families caught in violence. I can care deeply about the safety of my own people and still grieve for people I have never met. Acknowledging one truth does not erase the other.
Yet we are often made to feel that caring about one group means turning away from another. When I feel that pressure, Yom Kippur asks me to pause and consider whose pain I may have stopped hearing.
Teshuvah asks us to do something with what we find. Sometimes that means apologizing. Sometimes it means reaching out to someone we have avoided. Sometimes it begins with a simple sentence: “I still disagree with you, but I don’t want that to come between us as neighbors.”
Jewish tradition teaches that every person is made in the image of God. That includes people whose choices we find painful or wrong. Respect for their humanity does not require us to excuse what they do. It gives us reason to hope that they, too, will choose a more peaceful path, and to hold ourselves responsible for our own choices.
Here in the Seacoast, we will continue to disagree about issues near and far. We will also keep meeting one another at school, at work, at the grocery store and in our houses of worship. We can decide how those encounters go. We can listen, care for people who are hurting and find ways to leave our community a little better than we found it.
This Yom Kippur, I will hope for the safety and peace of all people. I will also ask myself a question I can act on: Am I making it easier or harder for someone else to feel heard especially when I don’t immediately see their perspective?
I don’t expect to get it right every time. But Yom Kippur gives us another chance to try. That, to me, is the promise of Teshuvah.
Ian Kaner, Temple Israel President
This article was published by the Portsmouth Herald on 9/20/26 and can be found on Seacoast Online using the following link: https://www.seacoastonline.com/story/opinion/columns/guest/2026/09/20/the-courage-to-hold-two-truths-yom-kippur-kaner/91811871007/
